deadlines, extensions, and goals

April. How did I make it here?

In the midst of our passover celebration, I turned to each guest at the table and asked every member of the group to share a sign of growth or source of pride from the last year. And I realized that I’ve learned a lot about reasoning.

We spend a lot of time rationalizing actions but rarely have the luxury of choice before action becomes effect.

I set a goal for myself last year to do a better job of documenting. And this year, I’m moving toward a space of making choices.

no news and yet, so much is new!

Waiting through the last few weeks of a pregnancy can be difficult. Having never had the opportunity to wait before (my first came on the day I hit 37 weeks), I’m learning to embrace this challenge for the first time.

I get a lot of people asking “haven’t you had that kid yet?” or “should you be out and about in your condition?” So far my favorite is, “pretty soon, that thing is going to come out your navel.”

Along with learning new and exciting ways to say “I’m doing well. Thanks for checking in,” I’m also experiencing the physical sides of the final weeks of pregnancy. This means recognizing the body inside my own as a potentially separate being.

My body is not growing any more. The baby is continuing to put on the pounds at a very fast rate. As the child runs out of space, I am becoming more aware of its placement and movements. I can tell how it reacts to dancing, swaying, laughter, eating, etc. Not just because “it moves” but also because I know that its head is moving independently from its shoulders. Likewise, when a kick happens, I can see the kick. Sometimes, the baby will adjust itself and rest a heel just below my rib cage. In this case, I can make out the foot, and tickle it. To which my baby will respond.